Asking your supervisor or manager for feedback can be an uncomfortable experience. Even asking a colleague or peer can be tricky. It requires you to open yourself up to criticism. This can create feelings of being judged, which can make it difficult to stay calm and open-minded when receiving feedback. It's best to be prepared for the conversation, both tactically (i.e. what questions, in what way, etc.) and emotionally (i.e. how to process the information, how to react, etc.).

Here are some strategies and examples that might make it easier to ask a manager or peer for areas of improvement.

Ask a Thoughtful Question

Instead of generically asking for feedback, try asking a more thoughtful question. Questions related to recent work or recent experiences will be rewarded with higher quality and more specific responses. Receiving great feedback depends on the quality and direction of the question. Make sure your question reflects the feedback you seek.

Here are some examples of questions that might elicit a better response from a manager or colleague:

1. "On our most recent project, how could I have done XYZ differently or more effectively?
2. "Can you help me identify areas where I might need more training or experience?"
3. "In your opinion, what is the most most valuable skill I can develop?"
4. "If there is an area of my work that need extra attention, what would it be?"
5. "Is there anything that I should stop doing, or start doing more of in order to succeed?"
6. "Have you noticed any bad habits in my way of working?"
7. "How could my communication style be improved?"
8. "Are there any ways I could become a better problem solver?"
9. "What key strengths am I utilizing that could be further developed to add more value to the team/organization?"
10. "Have you noticed any blind spots for me or areas where I seem to lack self-awareness?"
    

Asking someone for feedback with no qualifiers is like putting an empty canvas in front of an artist. They may paint something, but it may not be something you like or want. With a little direction, you're much more likely to get the result you seek. Don't require unnecessary mental gymnastics of your manager or colleague. Give them some qualification in your initial question.

Prepare for a Variety of Feedback

When asking for feedback, it is important to be prepared to receive both positive and negative comments. You'll likely be most uncomfortable with negative or constructive feedback, so we'll start there.

Remember, being receptive to criticism and constructive feedback demonstrates a commitment to self-improvement and a willingness to learn. You have a chance to demonstrate this commitment.

Gather yourself beforehand.

Once the train starts, in can be hard to find your balance. It is a good idea to take a few deep breaths, smile, and gather yourself before the chat. This will help ensure that you're in the right frame of mind to properly process whatever feedback comes your way.

Focus on listening and asking clarifying questions.

This is not the time to practice your debate skills. Ask questions if you don’t understand something, or if you want more clarification, but don't be argumentative or confrontational. You asked for their opinion so let them talk. This will help ensure that the feedback is as accurate and helpful as possible. Reassure them that you understand their point of view and perspective, especially if you want to encourage more feedback.

Be thankful.

Show gratitude for their time and thoughtfulness. It's easy to walk away from the conversation feeling out of sorts or even burned by the flood of information. Again, don't forget that you asked for feedback and (hopefully) they took time to be thoughtful and honest in their delivery of that feedback. The more grace you show in receiving that feedback, the more likely you are to get open and honest feedback in the future.

Don't dismiss the positive.

When receiving positive feedback, remember to show appreciation and use it to further motivate yourself. Far too often we are overly dismissive of positive feedback, but be sure to note and celebrate recognition for things that you're doing well. Thank your manager or colleague for their kind words and reinforce how important it is to you. This will go a long way in solidifying your relationship with them and the team.

Commit to action.

Asking for feedback is one thing, but putting it into action is another. After receiving feedback from a manager or colleague, take some time to reflect on what was said and consider how to best use it moving forward. Pull something from the conversation that you can act on immediately and follow up on.

In Conclusion

Asking for feedback is a great way to learn and grow professionally, but it can be intimidating. By preparing yourself emotionally beforehand, listening actively during the conversation, expressing gratitude afterwords, embracing positive feedback and committing to actionable steps afterwards you can make sure that your conversations about improvement are productive ones. With these tips in mind, you’ll be well on your way towards improving any area of work that needs some extra attention!